Gnome Physics

this is on wikipedia and I had to share, I voted for it. My students would have been so happy if this was true, some would have even passed that last science exam.

Gnome Physics

Kinda like this guy, but probably with bigger hats.

Electricity

Inside cables there are hundreds of tiny gnomes 'high-fiving' each other and running around swapping messages. This transfer of messages allows things to work, e.g. the gnomes in a plug socket tell the gnomes in the wire, who eventually tell the gnomes in (say) a kettle to fart in the water allowing it to boil.

Atoms

Atoms are in fact minuscule gnomes, all holding hands and feet etc together to form an intricate web from which nearly everything in this universe is comprised of. Radioactivity occurs when a rebel gnome is catapulted by his friends from their structure. Should this gnome come into contact with the gnomes from our body, he will offer them beer, thus making the local area either benign or malignant. Either way, just read: 'cancerous'.

States of matter

A solid is a closely compacted arrangement of gnomes, all holding hands, hats and legs. Heating (see Energy) causes the gnomes to become excited (or 'tickled'). This means they start to lose a grip on their neighbours; thus becoming a liquid. When the gnomes become tickled 'pink' they just can no longer hold on and float away (in groups upwards of one) becoming a 'Gas'. A special case exists for 'Metallic' gnomes, who are engaged in an oversized game of slaps, whereby no individual gnome can be entirely sure of which other gnomes it's in contact with.

Gravity

As suspected, it's turtles all the way down.

As we are all well aware gnomes like the ground. They all strive to be in the ground, and this is where the basic theory for gravity comes from. Gnomes throw tiny (obviously unseen to the human eye) ropes to the ground. These ropes attach to unseen hooks allowing the gnomes to pull themsleves towards the ground. There is minimal gravity away from bodies (e.g. in space) because very few gnomes have long enough ropes. All bodies have a gravitional attraction to each other because gnomes are sociable creatures and enjoy large gatherings.

Light

If you think about it, its quite obvious really. The gnomes that make up our eyes can see what colour other gnomes making up, say a table, are wearing. They then hi-five gnomes in our 'optical nerve' who run to tell the brain gnomes what has been seen. This makes us think we are seeing things when in fact it is all gnomes.

Anti-matter

Now this is a little more complicated. There are evil anti-gnomes. These make up anti-matter. Done.

Energy

All types of energy are transferred through gnomes. Heat is just gnomes rubbing other gnomes. Potential energy is when gnomes dont want to be separated (see 'Gravity'). Kinetic energy is the movement of gnomes. Energy is always conserved so fundamental gnomes (see below) are only ever transferred and never made or destroyed. Energy caused by nuclear fission is when you make a hypergnome very angry, and when it gets angry enough it explodes, causing an enormous explosion. But gnomes are very amiable creatures, so this never happens. Nuclear energy is a lie.

Economics

As underpant gnomes would say, there are 3 steps to getting rich: Step 1: Steal Underpants Step 2: ????? Step 3: Profit!

[edit] Gnomes

Pictures such as this can only be created by Gnomes wearing jeans.

So what are gnomes made up of themselves? They are surely not fundamental? They are comprised of billions of even smaller gnomes. These smaller gnomes are known as 'Super-gnomes'. Super-gnomes are made up of billions of even smaller gnomes known as 'Hyper-Gnomes'. Hyper-gnomes are the fundamental building block of everything.